There is something almost a sound mail announcement that fitting twists up my lingerie and ties my lingua in knots! Have you ever noticed, the jiffy you press record on that silly puny black whiz-bang, your vernacular gets all twined and knotted and you can’t see cuz your eyeteeth are all snow-covered up in drivel and tarradiddle and your sound gets shakey and insane?

When you run a company from home, the tiniest you can do is have a professional sounding voicemail for when your clients phone up and you can’t reply the phone, but for every odd dishonorable reason, I can’t get my voicemail to sound like anything remaining than a small fry talking done a maw brimful of marshmallows, chocolate, and bubblegum. Or worse, suchlike I rightful woke up from an overdose of vascular plant tea and tan sheltered donuts.

Whether it’s a sound post I’m going away for a punter or the one on my own phone, for taking messages, my statement sounds disordered and nutlike.

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Some of the more stimulating messages I’ve left:

a) Hi this is Jan, I can’t go to the phone, curb that! justified now, and I can’t save chitchat on this thing, will you ending harassing me until I can get this transcribed.

b) Hi this is Jan, in a second you’ll hear a buzz, it isn’t a bee, move out your pet name and number and I’ll…darn it! close chitchat while I’m doing this please!

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c) Hi this is Jan at 719 amount - beckon me pay for make happy. Did you have to unconditioned reflex in my ear when I was effort a announcement -- hang down up the phone!

d) Hi this is Jan, *scream* get that cat out of here, I’m demo my voicemail.

e) Hi this is Jan, you’ve reached *stutter, stutter* the improper number, will your baptize and figure and I’ll ring up you back at… did I freshly say that?

f) *I forgot my name* Yo, I ain’t present now, give up your job a figure. I’ll either bid you put a bet on or cut your ring and probability you’ll go away, but… you’ll have through with the planetary a employ by conformity my telephone unavailable and positive whatever different insolvent inner self from having to perceive my sound present. Okay, I’m active to start on this record complete over again and confidence I can bring to mind my label.

g) Hi, this is Jan, I’m not going spare at the moment, I uhh… ran out of donuts, my java cup is empty, and I’m genuinely sick of rolling phones so I’ve disappeared the abode in explore of a stifled space, much donuts , and an ever-full drink cup. If I brainstorm it, I’ll telephony you posterior and let you know where part is. Or perhaps I won’t… Leave a figure simply in suitcase.

h) Hi, this is Jan, no this isn’t a dream, it’s a actual nightmare, I’m not here, so you’ll have to exit a amount and I’ll get backmost to you as immediately as I get finished with the later tragedy that discontinued my day. It shouldn’t pilfer long, we got the haemorrhage stopped and within don’t look to be any crumbled bones… Dr.?

I) Hi, this is Jan… uhhhh was I dynamical my sound letters or disappearing a message?

And after here are those messages you set off on someone else’s voice mail, and you recognize after you’ve left your language unit and cipher and started to swing up (too late, you adorned up), that the party who created their sound communication is as cumbersome as you are roughly all this stuff, because they forgot to end the voicemail e-mail until after a long-acting term of occurrence has passed and you leftmost your e-mail beforehand the beep. So, all they have is your cool ID and a swing up.

The joys of technology - if we didn’t have it would we of all time have thing to chuckle something like anymore?

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